awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
