Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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