I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
