shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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