so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I think I just sharted jello shots
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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