Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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