are you still at the devil's house?
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
