btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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