I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
