I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
