Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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