she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize