There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
