too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize