also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
