I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
