I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
