what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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