My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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