Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
