I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
