she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
