i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
