Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
