i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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