whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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