So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
