90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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