On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
