Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Who put my cat in the fridge?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
