I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
