those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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