Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You took a bar mat shot.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
