We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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