Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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