he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I think my vagina is haunted
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
