i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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