i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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