i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Randomize
