Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
then he tried to convert me to islam
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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