i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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