Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
zippers are such a cool invention
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
