I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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