To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
It's shark week go big or go home
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
