I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
