i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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