You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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