There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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