theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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