He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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