So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
