i just had sex bonerless
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
