Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I wanna passion pit in your ass
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Randomize
