it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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