Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Randomize
