so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
