He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
