i don't like sucking hair
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
